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some people
(the lucky ones)
get songs stuck in their heads.

i, on the other hand,
am left with words
that beat incessantly against
the confines of my brain.


last week, it was "gossamer."
i thought it was whimsical;
that was pleasant.
i saw the word
every which way i turned:
       a gossamer veil of sunlight,
       a silk shirt like gossamer,
       a spider hanging by a thread of it.

i hate the word now,
with all its whimsy washed away;
the hard g is too harsh and garish
against the roof of my mouth,
the double s too serpentine.
it feels numbingly stiff on my tongue,
like some sort of linguistic anomaly,
a could-be word that really shouldn't be.


today, it was your name.
(i never thought
proper nouns counted, but
evidently, they do.)
i didn't see you as much as i heard you,
somewhere,
in the whistling of the breeze
or the creaking of the hardwood floors.
your imposing yet warm presence
hovered somewhere
near the nape of my neck.

i admit that somewhere
in the recesses of my mind,
i hope that
my tongue never tires
of curling around your syllables,
no matter what scars
your consonants carve in my throat,
no matter what holes
your vowels leave in my lungs.
this one was a bit hasty, but i wanted to get it out before the spark faded.
i have a bit of a love/hate relationship with the ever-vague "you". but anonymity it usually quite fitting.
there are a lot of things that might change. maybe some things to add. i guess we'll see as the time passes, but for now... sure.

(also, i'm experimenting with fonts. i quite like a nice, clean serif typeface.)

feedback questions:
is the piece cohesive? or does it just seem weirdly random?
also, does the font choice affect the poem? (using times new roman instead of the default verdana)
Add a Comment:
 

Daily Deviation

Given 2013-11-03
gossamer, and you by ~escap-ing ( Suggested by WinteroftheSoul and Featured by inknalcohol )
:iconcar5:
Car5 Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Sublime. I absolutely love it! 
Reply
:iconescap-ing:
escap-ing Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2014
thank you!!
Reply
:iconearthian101:
earthian101 Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014
This is gorgeous! And I'm glad I'm not the only person out there who gets random phrases stuck in my head!
Reply
:iconescap-ing:
escap-ing Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2014
thank you!! (:
Reply
:icontales-of-tao:
Tales-of-Tao Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013  Student General Artist
Hi! This lovely work has been featured here: fav.me/d6uqz9a.
Reply
:iconholygreatgrandparome:
holygreatgrandparome Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You basically just took every thought that's gone through my mind in the past three years and made it poetry. I applaud you. I've been trying to do that for ages now.
Right now, for me, it's the word "slightly" that's bugging me…
Reply
:iconescap-ing:
escap-ing Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2013
thank you!!
Reply
:iconholygreatgrandparome:
holygreatgrandparome Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:)
Reply
:icontornadowraith88:
TornadoWraith88 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013
That's... kind of amazing. 
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:iconescap-ing:
escap-ing Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013
thank you so much (:
Reply
:iconptdahood:
PTDaHood Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013   Writer
Isn't this world of passionate one of many blurred-border nations and a like temperamental atmosphere?
Reply
:iconescap-ing:
escap-ing Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013
i suppose so!
Reply
:iconptdahood:
PTDaHood Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2013   Writer
^w^
Reply
:icongwendolyn12:
Gwendolyn12 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
I can totally relate.
Beautiful poem.:aww:
Reply
:iconescap-ing:
escap-ing Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013
thank you so much (:
Reply
:iconthegalleryofeve:
TheGalleryOfEve Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Congratulations on your well-deserved DD!!! :iconflyingheartsplz::iconlainloveplz::iconflyingheartsplz: :clap::clap::clap:
Reply
:iconescap-ing:
escap-ing Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013
thank you!!
Reply
:icondirkuscircus:
DirkusCircus Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013

I never use gossamer in a sentence, so I just used gossamer several times in a sentence in my head, and it has indeed already lost it's mystique.

 

I hate the word "robust". Does anyone else hate that word? I hope somebody else hates that word. If I didn't hate that word, I'd say your poem was robust.

Reply
:iconescap-ing:
escap-ing Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013
hmm, i can't say i hate it, but it's definitely not the prettiest word out there!
thank you for reading (:
Reply
:iconangelheartthewarrior:
AngelheartTheWarrior Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I had robust. It sounds rusty and metallic. At least, to me.

It's not a good word in my opinion.
Reply
:icondirkuscircus:
DirkusCircus Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013
Right! It doesn't sound like what it represents. It's also a very corporate thing, like it's only said to make something sound better even thought it doesn't. It's just forced upon and it's not even cool
Reply
:icongwendolyn12:
Gwendolyn12 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
I hate it too:stare:
Reply
:icondirkuscircus:
DirkusCircus Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013

Thank you! My day has improved slightly.

So many good words being replaced by this one awful word. Why not just vigorous?

Reply
:iconkremlin-dawn:
kremlin-dawn Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
This is quite a well-deserved DD! I really like the concept, and it's beautifully executed too. I like how the last stanza took a different turn than I'd expected it to (thought the speaker was going to act bitter/tired of the other person, but it turned out hopeful instead, which was refreshing). The title is very interesting and makes people want to read it to see the connection. (Super glad I'm not the only one who gets random words stuck in my head! Unless, of course, you're not writing this from experience. lol) I do like the font better than Verdana, although honestly I didn't even notice it until I read your comment section. But the font does fit much better with your subject matter than the default. The only thing I will say is that although the lack of capitalization in poetry can be powerful, it just doesn't seem to fit here, in my opinion. Usually I think all-lowercase works better with more abstract and less organized structures, to kind of emphasize the chaos, but yours is in complete sentences and tells somewhat of a story, so I think the lack of capitalization makes it look too soft and unsure. But that is just my opinion, of course, and it's still very beautiful. :heart:
Reply
:iconescap-ing:
escap-ing Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013
wow, thank you for all the feedback! i can totally see what you're saying about the capitalization; for me, it's more of just the way i write... although after what you've said, i'll definitely be paying more attention to it in the future. (:
Reply
:iconkremlin-dawn:
kremlin-dawn Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
You're welcome! It's just a small thing though, and it is beautiful regardless :heart:
Reply
:iconevilscarrlett:
EvilScarrlett Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
very powerful! I love it.
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:iconescap-ing:
escap-ing Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013
thank you!!
Reply
:iconevilscarrlett:
EvilScarrlett Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
you're welcome :D
Reply
:iconrisendork:
RisenDork Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Professional General Artist
Acch.  Autospell! Times New Roman...
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:iconrisendork:
RisenDork Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Professional General Artist
Ones New Roman seems to be the font of choice for contest editors. Personally, I like Calibri, but I think only because it seems to fit the personality of my poems.  Sometimes, depending on the context, you have to sell-out, though.  Nice work, in any case! Gossamer is actually one of those poetic words I haven't tired of yet (and maybe should...). ;-)
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:iconescap-ing:
escap-ing Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013
i see, thank you for the feedback!
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:iconthesistineapple:
TheSistineApple Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013
I actually started crying when I read this. Very touching and sad. Congrats on the well deserved DD! :happycry: 
Reply
:iconescap-ing:
escap-ing Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013
wow, thank you!!
Reply
:iconthesistineapple:
TheSistineApple Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013
you're welcome :hug: 
Reply
:iconlollirotcat:
lollirotcat Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Student Writer
omg I really love this!! :heart: The certain person's name thing really got me ;_;
Congrats!!
Reply
:iconescap-ing:
escap-ing Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013
haha i'm glad, thank you!
Reply
:iconlollirotcat:
lollirotcat Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Student Writer
You're welcome! :)
Reply
:iconbeyond-an-anomaly:
Beyond-An-Anomaly Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Student General Artist
This is wonderful!! :D It was an interesting comparison you made, a word like "gossamer" vs. someone's name. Random? Naw. Is the font a problem? Nope! In fact, it gives it a more unique flare than it already has! :D

Very nice, stylistic piece. Congrats on the DD. :)

-BAA
Reply
:iconescap-ing:
escap-ing Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013
thank you so much!!
Reply
:iconbeyond-an-anomaly:
Beyond-An-Anomaly Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Student General Artist
No problem!! :D Congrats again. :)
Reply
:iconfate4destiny:
Fate4Destiny Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Student Writer
That actually has happened to my entire english class since our teacher made us do all this vocabulary. Polyglot is a class fave (it sounds - much to my classmates delight- an insult) and loquacious is always running through my mind.
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:iconescap-ing:
escap-ing Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013
ooh, i like loquacious!
Reply
:iconfate4destiny:
Fate4Destiny Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Student Writer
:)
Reply
:icontarajso:
tarajso Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
this is gorgeous! congratulations on the DD! :)
Reply
:iconescap-ing:
escap-ing Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013
thank you!!
Reply
:iconshire7:
Shire7 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats to the DD :heart: <3
Reply
:iconescap-ing:
escap-ing Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013
thank you!!
Reply
:iconshire7:
Shire7 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem =)
Reply
:iconlady-yume:
Lady-Yume Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013   Writer
Oh, that is simply some stunning writing!
Congrats on the very well-deserved DD! :clap:
Reply
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